Rules for Sending an Initial IM or Text

If you're accustomed to texting or using instant messaging (IM) to communicate with friends and colleagues, you may not realize how a message from someone unknown can seem completely random to a new contact. When you need to text or IM someone for the first time, especially if they have no reason to expect your communication, keep these commonsense rules in mind.

If possible, ask in person or via phone or email how individuals prefer to be contacted. You may discover they have a limited texting plan, that IM use is discouraged at their workplace, or that they simply prefer email.

When texting or IMing for the first time, introduce yourself. Remind the recipient of any previous communications (see above) or, if there haven't been any, tell them how you found them and why you're contacting them. Here are some sample scripts:

• "Hi Alice, I'm Joan Smith from XYZ Consultants. I was referred to you by Sally Jones. Do you have time to talk about Sally's new project?"
• "Hi Penny, it's Kylie from Joe Jenkins' party. I really want to read that book you recommended, but I'm having trouble finding it. Any ideas?"
• Hi, it's Brad Jones from accounting, I have a question about your reimbursement request. Do you have time to answer it now, or should I call you later?"

Using this kind of introduction, you'll avoid having your message appear to be random or addressed to the wrong person. You can use a similar strategy if you need to contact someone after being out of contact with them for a period of time.

Start with the introduction and context only until the recipient responds. Otherwise, you may compose and send a detailed message that's never seen.

Sending a text message or IM and receiving no response doesn't necessarily mean you're being ignored. More likely, the recipient just isn't monitoring their phone or computer at that moment. After an appropriate amount of time, follow up with another message. You may also want to attempt to contact the recipient via email or phone. If it's a work situation, you can also try stopping by their desk.