OkCupid Messaging for Beginners

Don't underestimate the importance of your introductory message

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OKCupid, the online dating site and app, features the DoubleTake swipe interface in addition to the classic Match Search interface. Some of those changes affect the way messaging works. If you are new to OKCupid, here's how to get started with the service and its messaging feature.

Set Up Your Profile

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Set up your free OKCupid account at the website online or download the app to your iOS or Android mobile device and set up the account there. Before you can start looking for people to Like (OKCupid's method of showing interest), take the time to make a great profile for yourself and upload a few intriguing photos, while restricting your personal information for safety reasons. You are asked to fill out essays and preferences. Don't skip this step because the information is used by the dating site to suggest potential matches for you.

Using DoubleTake to Find Potential Matches

DoubleTake feature on OKCupid website

In DoubleTake, OKCupid presents a photo of one member at a time. Click view profile on the web or tap anywhere on the screen in the app to see a member's full profile. On the web, you Like a profile by clicking the star icon or pass on the profile by clicking the X. In the app, swipe right to Like a profile and swipe left to skip a profile.

Using Match Search to Find Potential Matches

OKCupid advanced search website options

If DoubleTake's swiping isn't your thing, you can use Match Search to filter for exactly the characteristics you want and don't want. On the web, at the top of the Browse Matches page and click the Advanced filters icon.

Enter your search options and click Search to see matches. Using the app, go to the Discovery page by tapping the magnifying glass in the bottom navigation row. Tap the icon at the top of the page to open the filters screen and choose from the many filters OKCupid offers. Go to the profile of anyone who interests you and click or tap the Like button.

Sending the Initial Introductory OKCupid Message

OKCupid Likes icon on the website

Locate a person you like on OKCupid using either DoubleTake or Match Search and Like them. You have to Like someone before you can send the introductory message. Here's how:

  1. Go to the Likes page on the web by clicking the star icon in the top right of the web page. On the app, tap the Star icon to find the profile of someone you've liked.
  2. Click or tap the Message button on the profile.
  3. Compose an introductory message and send it. You can only send one initial message, so do a good job on it. Until the person Likes you back, you won't see the profile or your message.

If the person doesn't Like you back, you won't see his or her profile anymore, and that person won't see yours.

If the person Likes you back, you can send additional messages back and forth.

How to See New Messages in DoubleTake

Message received on OKCupid website

When someone sends you a message, a They messaged you notice appears right on their profile along with their photo. OKCupid positions anyone who messages you at the top of the DoubleTake queue.

In the OKCupid app, tap on the DoubleTake card to see the sender's profile and the message.

On the web, the message appears beneath the photos on DoubleTake automatically. To see the sender's full profile, click View Profile to visit the full profile.

Replying to a Message

Conversations icon on the OKCupid website

Reply to a message from the sender's profile page. Also, you can see your messages on your Conversations page or by tapping the speech bubble on the app.