How to Use OkCupid Instant Messaging

Make a good first impression on OkCupid with an introductory IM

OKCupid is an online dating website and app that offers multiple ways to view potential matches. After creating an account, you can use the instant messaging feature to introduce yourself to anyone who catches your eye; however, before you can message someone, you must first "like" their profile.

Instructions in this article apply to the OKCupid website and mobile app for iOS and Android.

How to Set Up Your Profile on OKCupid

Visit OKCupid.com and select Join OKCupid to create an account. You'll then have the option to sign up using your Facebook account, or you can just provide an email address.

Visit OKCupid.com and select Join OKCupid to create an account.

It's also possible to set up an account when you download the OKCupid app.

Before you start looking for people to like (OKCupid's method of showing interest), set up your profile and upload a few photos. In addition to selecting your preferences, you also have the option to fill out essay questions and take personality quizzes. OKCupid uses this information to suggest other users who have similar tastes and outlooks on life and love.

Never include personal information in your profile such as your home address to stay safe on OKCupid and other dating sites.

How to Like an OKCupid Profile in DoubleTake View

Select DoubleTake at the top of your home page to view profiles one-at-time (similar to Tinder). You'll then have three options:

  • Select view profile.
  • Select the Star to like a profile.
  • Select X to pass on the profile.
X and Star icons on OKCupid

If using the mobile app, swipe right to like a profile, or swipe left to skip a profile.

How to Search for Profiles to Like

If you prefer to use Match Search to filter for the exact characteristics you want in a mate:

  1. Select Browse Matches at the top of your home page.

    Browse Matches button on OKCupid
  2. Select the Advanced filters icon.

    Advanced filters on OKCupid
  3. Enter your search options and select Search to see matches.

    Search button on OKCupid
  4. Select a profile, and then select Like to like their profile so that you can message them.

    Like profile button on OKCupid

How to Search for Profiles With the OKCupid Mobile App

If using the OKCupid app:

  1. Tap Discovery at the bottom of your home page.

    Discovery button in OKCupid mobile app
  2. Tap the Advanced filters icon at the top-right of the page to open the filters screen.

    Advanced filters button on OKCupid mobile app

How to Send an Introductory Message With OKCupid IM

After liking a user's profile, you can send an introductory message.

  1. Select the Star icon in the top right of the page to go to your Likes.

    Star icon on OKCupid webpage
  2. Select Who you like.

    OKCupid's Who You Like tab
  3. Select the person who you want to message.

    OKCupid profile to like
  4. Select Message on their profile to send an introductory IM.

    OKCupid Message button

You can only send one initial message, so make it count. Until the person likes you back, you won't see their profile or your message. If the person doesn't like you back, then you won't see their profile anymore, and that person won't see yours. If the person likes you back, then you can send additional messages back and forth.

How to Reply to a Message in OKCupid

When someone sends you a message, you'll see a notification above the speech bubble at the top of the screen. To view and reply to your messages:

  1. Select the speech bubble at the top-right of the page to open your conversations.

    Speech bubble icon on OKCupid
  2. Select a message to open the IM window and continue the conversation.