The 8 Guys You Meet on Grindr (And Other Gay Apps)

(And Other Things You Should Know About Gay Dating Apps)

While finding a compatible friend or partner on gay apps may seem easy given the wide variety of options, finding one who is emotionally and physically available is a whole other issue. Across the myriad of options, from Boyahoy and Grindr to Growlr and Scruff, the men are endless but their personalities easily fall into one of eight distinct categories.

Learn more about the risks and rewards of chatting with each of these people, and discover more tips about gay dating from Ramon Johnson, About.com’s Guide to Gay Life, and Bonny Albo, About.com’s Guide to Dating.

01
of 08

Stalkers

Man with reflective aviator sun glasses and fur collar on trench coat
Ryan Klos/E+/Getty Images

If you've been on a gay app for awhile, you know the stalker well: they are apt to be at all hours of the night, glancing at your profile and your photos without ever saying a word. You see them on your visitor's list early and often but are never able to catch them in the act — or worse, you get blocked when you try to confront them.

Converting Stalkers to Potential Dates

  • How to Succeed in the Gay Dating Scene
  • How to Write an Online Dating Profile
  • 11 Things You Can Do To Pick Up More Gay Men
02
of 08

Flashers

Image courtesy, Rakos_Poz/SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/rakos_poz)

Whether you love them or hate them, the flasher is a prominent fixture of the gay community and they have no qualms about showing a little skin. Whether they unlock their photos without so much as a greeting or abruptly interrupt during a conversation, the flasher is provocative and strikes without warning.

4 Ways to Deal with Flashing

  • Ask the flasher to stop
  • Use the app's blocking function to curb abuse, harassment
  • Report the user, if such a function exists
03
of 08

Art Collectors

Image Courtesy, Filipefrad, SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/filipefrad)

The reverse of the flasher but perhaps more annoying is the art collector, a gay app user who in incessant of their demands to see your portfolio. "Can you unlock your pics?" "Do you have any more pix?" "Where are your nudes?" These people are relentless in their quest to see more of you.

Attract More Views with Photos

04
of 08

Three's a Crowd

Image Courtesy, Piotr Bizior (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/bizior)

The guys who make up this community of app users aren't necessarily bad people, but if you are looking for a friend or a romantic connection, they are potentially unavailable (and it can also get messy in a flash). Three's a Crowders are those who are already partnered, in an open relationship or "just looking for friends" while still attached. Tread carefully if you aren't into no strings attached situations.

Help for the Married Gay App User

  • Help for Closets and Married Gay Men
  • Coming Out While Married
  • Cheating in Dating Relationships
05
of 08

Incognitos

Image Courtesy, Loleia/SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/loleia)

Typically found on gay apps without a photo in sight or some abstract, illustrated or otherwise unidentifiable image (like a wall or their bed), the secret agent has something to hide, whether it's the fact they are not out about their sexuality, that they may be in a relationship but fear being caught, or have concerns about being identified by co-workers/bosses/students, etc. These people may be very good, emotionally available people, but it's wise to practice caution.

How to Stop Hiding

  • FAQs About Coming Out of the Closet
  • Coming Out to Your Boss
  • Tips for Coming Out Online
06
of 08

Static Clingers

Image Courtesy, KevinMood/SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/kevinmood)

Saccharin sweet and always with a nice thing to say, these boys next door may seem like a good thing at first — until you realize they don't know how to stop. Static clingers always have a message waiting for you and a compliment to share. The feeling of being desired is nice but watch for signs of low self-esteem and compulsive behaviors which might make them ill-suited for a relationship.

Dating Without Desperation

  • Pick Up Lines: Making the Most of the First Minute
  • How to Go Out Alone to a Bar, Club or Restaurant
  • Low Self Esteem and How it Effects Dating Relationships
07
of 08

Imposters

Image Courtesy, Richard Dudley/SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/bluegum)

Believe it or not, there are more women on gay apps than you might imagine, everyone from a guy's best friend scooping out a potential match on their behalf to lesbians who enjoy playing games with guys, as one peer of mine recently admitted. While there is no way to tell who is an imposter and who isn't, practicing common sense and taking precautions with your images and information will help keep you safe in the long run.

Protect Yourself on Gay Apps

08
of 08

The One You've Been Waiting For

Image Courtesy, PixelFairy/SXC.hu (http://www.sxc.hu/profile/pixelfairy)

Yes, it is true, the man of your dreams may very well be one of the people you meet on a gay app. Unfortunately, one stereotype I hear more often than not is that these apps are for only hooking up. Truth be told, they wouldn't have options for "friends," "conversation," "dating," or even "love" if that was the case! Do not be dissuaded by the 7 other types which may throw you off in your quest. He might be on the "nearby" list of your favorite app right now.

Tips for Healthy Gay Relationship

  • Are You Ready for Gay Sex?
  • How Do I Know If He's the One?
  • Gay Wedding Planning Checklist

Updated by Christina Michelle Bailey, 6/30/16